Vicki recalls how devastated she felt after the break-up (she tweeted that she was letting Hayden date Nancy Castiglione openly).
“I said, 'God, take me na. I’ve done a lot already',” Vicki relates.
Despite everything, Vicki only has good words for Hayden. She’s proud of what he has made of himself now that he is slowly weaning himself away from her.
“He’s training with Ana Valdes-Lim, a graduate of Juilliard (School of Music in New York). He acts so well. Ang dami na niyang pinaghuhugutan. He is now being managed by Carlo (Orosa’s) group (Stages),”relates Vicki.
The last time they saw each other, her ex told Vicki outright that he doesn’t want any help from her, something which impressed her all the more.
Vicki admits not understanding why, but she knows her world will crumble if she sees Hayden with his girlfriend or learns that he will get married one day.
“It will hurt me very much,” she admits.
But the doctor to the stars realizes that it’s over, and she has to move on.
“I’m praying for strength. I’m trying to be self-sufficient,”she reveals.
Lessons
Vicki owns up to mistakes she inadvertently made because she let her head rule over her heart.
“I break up with someone, then I go to the next one so I won’t get hurt,” she admits.
Vicki also thinks her tendency to mother her boyfriend has led to the breakup of her relationships and the beginning of many heart aches.
“I can never ever be the mother of my boyfriend,” she says
And since she has been so supportive, so predictable, and, as she herself relates, boring, Vicki wants to change her ways the next time around.
“I want to be the princess next time,” she declares. “When I was younger, I was the princess. All the guys loved me so much. Then I changed. I became mabait. Marriage (to Atom Henares, with whom she is divorced) changed me. I’ve been so patient, so kind, so everything because I wanted to make it work. But it didn’t.”
Guys, she concluded, “want to have a hard time.” They want challenge.
So Vicki now wants to bring out the Bella Swan (of "Twilight" fame) out in her, the one with the fangs hiding beneath the sweet, smiling face.
“I even bought a book called 'Finding the Bitch in You’ because I’m tired of playing games.”
She just wants to be herself, because “it’s so nice to be with someone you can be yourself with, no pretensions, since the whole day you have to make PR.”
She adds wistfully, “I hope there will be someone who will appreciate me. I’m praying for someone who can provide companionship.”
Vicki’s eyes twinkle when she asks the man of her dreams, “Where are you? I hope you’re reading this and you come to get me.”
Coping tactics
Meanwhile, Vicki goes out with daughter Cristalle, her boyfriend and their friends. Sometimes, Atom would join them.
“Cristalle’s barkada invites me to their parties. I look like a fool,” she sighs.
But Vicki doesn’t want the setup to last forever.
“I can’t be like this for a long time. I have to find my life.”
She has not dismissed the possibility of reconciling with Atom, father of Cristalle and her son Quark Henares.
“He’s one person who makes me feel that I’m in the safest place. He’s older than me. He babies Cristalle and me.”
Now that they’re seeing each other again like one happy family, Vicki says she and the now-single Atom struck a deal.
“If he doesn’t have anyone by the time he’s 70, we’ll reconcile. So may fallback position ako.”
With or without a fallback position, one thing’s sure: Vicki will always want to love and be loved in return. Let’s just hope it will be for keeps the next time around.
By Maridol Rañoa-Bismark | Yahoo! Southeast Asia Newsroom
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